I am enamored with this time of year!
truly-- and I know that many people will ultimately tell me that I am completely insane for my absolute and devout love of the month of December. I can't even say it's a winter transition so much as when the pumpkin spice lattes are out and peppermint mocha is in! there is something about the chill of the breeze and a tune of hope and joy floating in the air that makes my house that much warmer and smiley. and it is even better this year because I have my amazing husband to enjoy it with :-) my husband, oh how I love him...although he is a bit of a Grinch during the holidays. he teases me when I turn on the classical Christmas tunes and belt out Charlotte Church "Ding Dong Merrily on High", and says "How can you actually LIKE this stuff???" I am making it my lifelong goal to eventually turn him on to the sounds of Frank Sinatra and Michael Buble. It will happen.....
this season filled with hot cocoa and candy canes sprinkled with a bit of love also has the tendency to come with tons of cranky people who are filled with malice, disdain, and rudeness, schlepping around to spend money that they don't have for gifts they don't want to give. A friend posted this photo on facebook, and I found it completely appropriate for what I have seen both in person and online in the last few weeks...
EVERYTHING about this makes me want to cry. I cannot fathom the type of culture that I am raising my kids in and questioning if anything I teach them about togetherness, family, and helping others will stick when there is so much immense pressure around to keep up with the Jones's and maintain more and more things-- the newest, the best, and always more.
Growing up, we weren't exactly the Rockafeller family. We were fortunate and blessed enough to have a home to grow up in, regardless of living above my great grandmother or moving into our own home when I was 10. We did not have thousands of toys, games, or accessories; there were not annual vacations taken, let alone tons of money for excessive birthdays or holiday extravaganzas. We often joke about how we can remember the weekly menu that was consistent for about a decade, and my sister and I often laughing even harder about how we have REFUSED to make the epic tuna casserole for our kids because we hated it so much.
But aside from what we didn't have, there are things that are unforgettable from my childhood: my mother is by far the master of monopoly, and I cannot count the number of nights that she was able to whip my tail and make a deal look like it was served on a golden platter wrapped in a satin red bow; my Dad has begun my love of Star Trek, scrabble, chess, and Othello (although I know he wishes he hadn't introduced me to that last once, as he hasn't been able to beat me at it in over 10 years!); he tells the best stories, ones that I still remember and have had the pleasure of telling my children several times over, only to see their faces brighten and giggle each time they hear them; the summers were filled with my sister and I playing outside in the backyard, eventually swimming in the pool, riding our bikes around the neighborhood, reading books, and painting our nails on the deck; and my brother is a sucker for a water balloon fight, a trouble match, and he lights up my world when he sings and plays his guitar. board games were the catalyst for our family's closeness. not having a lot of money and being resourceful forced us to stay close and depend on each other. it never ceases to amaze me that none of my memories involve "that time on the yacht" or "remember that trip to Europe?", and yet each of the moments that are forever engrained in my mind involve my family in one way or another.
this year has not been one of financial prosperity. there has been many nights of hot dogs and mac n cheese, spaghetti with canned sauce, and popcorn as a treat (since there were no others). I never thought that scrambled eggs and oatmeal would be the staples at breakfast, and I truly believed I would die before ever exposing my children to ANY type of tuna casserole.... ironically, my son, probably the pickiest eater of us all, devoured it! I often hear my kids telling me they are bored and want to go to the mall, to the store, to the movies, to the zoo-- you name it, and I'm sure they have said it. And each time, I have to look back at the checkbook and wonder if I am able to provide it for them.... sadly, 9 times out of 10, I cannot. and as guilty as it makes me feel in the moment, I think back to the countless hours that my parents spent playing games with me, the mornings that my mom would teach us to make French Toast, or the nights when we had time to make peanut butter cookies with hersheys kisses on the top. I think about my mom and me stealing a moment to go to Bee Bee Dairy, the best (and sadly, long since closed) ice cream shop in Connecticut, to get a cup of Witches Brew icecream (the October favorite!), or a cherry soda over some lunch. I think of my Dad and me dancing in a snowfall in front of Olive Garden while we waited for them to open the doors, and everyone looking at us like we had lost our minds, but our laughter drowning it all out. I think about mornings like this one, when my husband finally fell asleep for the first time in 3 days, my kids did their chores, and everyone remained quiet while we watched the Jimmy Neutron movie, the girls got their nails painted, and their makeup done, and then we made grilled cheese on Hawaiian rolls.
I know there won't be much for my kids under the tree this year, just like there wasn't last year. my first Christmas with my amazing husband will not be filled with jewelry, silk pajamas, Egyptian cotton sheets, or gourmet coffee in the morning followed by a lobster dinner in the evening. but we are blessed with the Lord of the Rings marathons we get to have (courtesy of the library rentals); when the cupboards get bare, I know he will laugh over our lentil salad and tuna casserole and take it like a champ with me. and while he can't stand my love of classic and jazz holiday music, and though there are some grinchy moments in December, I can't help but be grateful for the little things; nail polish and library rentals, tuna casserole and popcorn, dollar store puzzles and duct tape crafts. it's the little things, always the little things, and so many little blessings that remind how blessed I am to have family-- the greatest gift (next to being saved) that God has ever given me. And it truly makes December merry and bright.
