Beauty and the Beets

a beautiful day in ohio, with a gentle springtime zephyr and enough sunshine to brighten the day of any grumpy person, and I chose to buy beets.

It seemed like the perfect thing to do this morning, given the most recent circumstances in our home. Yesterday we spent cleaning, as a means of getting frustration out about fluctuating work hours and lack of movement thanks to the amazing giant bundle of baby lodged in my pelvis, causing me to look like a duck in ballet class as I walk from room to room. Jimmy and me had experienced a bit of a scare this weekend, which ended us up at the ER, only to be sent up to the maternity ward to monitor my contractions and baby Joshua's heartbeat. thankfully, labor wasn't progressing and I was able to go home. however, it didn't come without stipulations. I had already been put on afternoon rest by my doctor a few weeks back due to increasing stress levels (that was showing up in my vitals during each visit), and monitoring my gestational diabetes. knowing that another doctor appointment was coming up, it made me nervous about the most evil words that no mother of 3 (soon to be 4) wants to hear-- bed rest. I'm still hoping NOT to hear them, but again, in a day of panic, I opted to clean.

with the house smelling of fabuloso floor cleaner and fresh air from opened windows and drawn up curtains, I woke up this morning craving coffee. sadly, with no creamer in the house, I knew that shopping was going to be inevitable. still, it hadn't left my mind that I was not going to be able to return to work for another week, and that was drastically cutting into our monthly income. while I hate to admit that the system helps (primarily because I HATE being on the system), the cut to the food stamps a month ago hurt our budget for our growing family big time, especially with mikey needing such specific dietary assistance to decrease his aggression levels. even still, with the april month coming to a close, and both WIC and food stamps being exhausted for the moment (mind you, between the two, that's only about $100 a month), all I could think about was what I was going to make for dinner.

last night, post cleaning spree, and Himalayan salt bath to reduce stress and induce sleep, I did something else that I haven't in a while-- I picked up a book called Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, and flipped to where I had left off, probably about 6 months ago, before graduate school returned to my calendar of chaos and my life revolved around doctors appointments, clients, and the intimate sound of 3 children fighting over the limited toys in the house. why this book? truthfully, i'm not sure. most of the books that I read are in research or sheer intrigue, with maybe 3 on my shelf being favorites that I will never get tired of, no matter how many times I read them-- The Time Traveler's Wife is one such example, that I will pick it up and flip to a random chapter just to smell the pages and remember the summer I first read it, as a previous military wife in Virginia suffering the big deployment. But I digress. I picked up this New York Times best seller a few years ago, intrigued by this family's journey to eat food that was home grown, considering that I am definitely not one with a green thumb, but also because I was going through a time when I felt that going green would truly be beneficial to my family. while I still believe that, it has been a very slow transition to get to where I would ultimately like to see us-- in a small but efficient house with a garden and a greenhouse, solar panels and rainwater collecting system, composting in the backyard and plants in the house to keep the air fresh and clean... it is taking more time than I anticipated, but then again, most things that are worth it end up being waited for.

chapter 3 of this book had me enamored, partially because of this woman's luscious descriptions of her family's journey into the love of asparagus (the entire chapter was about asparagus!), and the fact that my husband is a hardcore connoisseur of asparagus. his passion for this vegetable, green beans, and many others of his family's Kentucky tradition, is absolutely adorable as we go shopping together and I make a meek attempt to pick out a good batch, only to get a chuckle in response, as he says "i got this", picking the best batch in the entire store. regardless, reading all about asparagus gave me an idea for grocery shopping this week, making me think about only food that was native to ohio at this time of year, what was in season, and what would keep the budget down while still filling our refrigerator and pantry and stomachs with flavor and freshness.

With a starbucks java chip light to sip on-- now don't think I blew the budget for this indulgence. I only was able to abide in this extra because of points on a card that I had forgotten about-- I searched the vegetable section of the store, looking at prices, and also comparing to a list I had saved on my phone, giving me information as to what was native to ohio in the month of april. I knew that fruits would pretty much be off the list for another month or so, so aside from some bananas for the kids, I didn't bother with that. but it wasn't long before I had collected a giant bag of russet potatoes, carrots, green onions, then stopping at the root vegetables, only to find the delightful burgundy beets sitting on the shelf, calling out to my artist's eye for the bright color. I can't even begin to lie on this one-- I have never eaten a beat (up until that moment anyway), and I had heard mixed commentaries from friends about the taste of beets, either being too much of an earthy taste, or having a succulent sweetness when they are in season and perfectly ripe, bringing color and flavor to the table unlike any other root veggie. looking at the price, and noting that this wasn't to be the staple for the entire week, I decided to give it a shot, grabbing about 1 lb of fresh beets, tossing them into a plastic bag, and preparing a recipe in my mind that would make dinner wonderful.

I decided on a crock pot chicken, with potatoes, carrots, and of course, the beets. I also reasoned in my own head that the kids would complain about it (ana in particular), unless I managed to make them believe that the beets were purple potatoes. this is, of course, one of those lies that almost every parent and grandparent has told their kids in order to attempt to expand their palette... I can still hear the voice of my great-grandma Zu telling me that bananas were just white carrots, which I resented her for at the time, but now I can laugh as I think back on that memory. while I still cannot eat bananas in some circumstances, it was her tenacity for me to be healthy and happy about fresh fruit and amazing home cooked food that makes me willing to try the same on my own kids.

as I was sitting with jimmy in the living room with peeler and knife in hand, preparing my cookie sheet of one inch cut winter vegetables, I was completely thrown aback in enjoyment with the crimson stain on my hands of this burgundy root, smiling in anticipation as to how it would taste roasted when combined with the others, but also in the sheer fact that I was once again finding enjoyment in cooking. and it is this thought that changed my mood. for months, we had access to the extra-- we ordered pizzas, we made tacos, we had coffee in abundance in the cabinets, and offered the kids cheap processed foods simply to avoid a fight at mealtime. we did 30 minute meals, but getting the "best" at Kroger and taking little care to leftovers in the frig. I had processed cereals and snacks for breakfasts and lunches, and the only requirement for morning time was my coffee brewing quickly in the Keurig.  but as I sat here with my crimson stained hands and this delectable tray of veggies sitting in front of me, I couldn't help but be grateful for the simplicity in what was happening. I was cooking again for my family, excited about family dinner tonight, knowing that jimmy would have an amazing lunch for his exhausting day tomorrow; I was looking forward to the smell of the garlic butter and rosemary chicken filling the entire kitchen and wafting through the house, filling it with warmth that didn't involve my heater in the basement; I was looking forward to the taste of the earthy beets, and the joy that would come from the labor of making them.

the last few months have been hectic and a range of amazing to unbearable, with life's unexpected twists and shocking moments, or seconds of laughter that make you wonder if you have Depends in the house. but there is something to be said about my family-- we always seem to find a way through it. my husband is amazingly dedicated and has offered on countless days to pick up overtime to make sure that we have enough to get by, while still providing laughter and comforting hugs when they are desperately needed. my kids are of course still growing up, and will never lack for moments of immaturity, but even they have found ways to show that they can be flexible and take the tough days as they come, still finding ways to make each other happy, with tickles or a picture, or cheering each other on during a community activity. and then me.... I have found that my moments of innovation and creativity come when I am forced into them. if everything was simple and we never had to struggle for what we have, we wouldn't appreciate it, but it also wouldn't challenge me to make the best of what we have and truly know what it means to find joy in life. i'm grateful for my husband, more than I have ever realized since the day we said "I do"-- he has become even more of a rock than I ever anticipated, mostly because I'm typically prone to doing things myself. but his strength and his ability to help me learn to accept vulnerability and let him lead has helped me to be a better wife for him, and this in and of itself is an amazing gift. my kids, though challenging, continue to push me to pray hard and find peace when there doesn't seem to be any; they remind me every day to get out of my OCD clean ways, finding ways to tell me that the dirtier the feet, the happier the person. and it just so happens that they are right. as I look at the pink on my hands from a vegetable that is grown in dirt and darkness, I can't help but be grateful for the way that God provides us the opportunity to find faith and joy and beauty.... even if it is found in a pound of beets.